Saturday’s Warrior Smackdown

Smackdown

Posted March 29th, 2015

Join Randy, Matt, John and Glenn for an introspective and occasionally on-tune critique of the great Mormon classic Saturday’s Warrior. It is our very first sing-a-long Smackdown: A John Hamer production. Enjoy! (we did)

  • runbob

    So excited for this one, but I really wish it was a video podcast.

  • Darth bill

    Avocado.

  • runbob

    avocado (so damn funny)

  • Dan Bronson

    Avacado. Aardvark.

  • oops

    aardvark

  • Johan Strandberg

    Avocado. (Although it took me a couple of beers to get here to ~1:28.) I can’t quite decide if it is the lag or the lack of pitch that is most disturbing… hmm… no, it is the plot of the musical. As a non-mormon that is just weird.

  • Zombie Mormon

    Aardvark

  • Johan Strandberg

    Aardwark

  • Dog Lady

    Avocado. I want my $100.

  • Michael

    Great stuff boys!

    Matt, I would be interested to hear your take, given your profession, on the latest SLTrib Op Ed…in podcast form of course!

    http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/2335798-155/op-ed-think-seminary-teachers-before-acceding

  • Mindy Maurer

    Avocado Aardvark love love love this podcast….My Tum on Earth next????

  • Parker

    Avocado….and I’d settle for a crummy t-shirt

  • Randy_Snyder

    Aw fuck.

  • Malachi the Pika

    Avocado Aardvark +1 . How should I send you my address Randy? Or do you just want to wire the money? 😀

    I think you guys could consider making some sort of sticker that says “I survived the Saturday’s Warrior Smackdown”. Cost-effective and we get bragging rights!

  • Malachi the Pika

    Or maybe some Infants on thrones custom guacamole? That’d be delicious (running with the avocado theme)

  • Mellie

    This is the best way to start a Monday morning ever!

  • Rob

    Avocado Aardvark

  • Thomas Moore

    Advocado Aardvark: And yes that was very, very hard (“That’s what she said”). Anyway great episode. I do have one thing to ask since it’s been a long time since I’ve watched either versions, After Pam dies and is speaking to Emily, she uses the term “Free Agency”, yet the corporation no longer uses that term, but rather “Agency” do they still say this? The reason I ask is because I, like a lot of Mormons, used to accept Sat’s Wars as gospel and true.

    • Randy_Snyder

      Bruce R McConkie made it his mission to rid the term “free agency” from Mormon vernacular. He correctly contended that agency by definition means freedom to choose so the term “free agency” is redundant. He further contended that you will not find the term “free agency” in all the holy scriptures. But since the term was so ubiquitous, his attempt failed. So I think now you will not find it in any church manuals or GC talks but members do and will probably continue to use that term.

      • Thomas Moore

        Although I agree with your “McConkie” explanation. Webster’s defines agency as “the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power :” (other than govt offices i.e. embassy agency). Just because you exert your priesthood or spiritual powers, gifts, etc.. You’re not “free” to use them willy-nilly.

        • Randy_Snyder

          I’m only relating what my mission president told me and what I took to heart. But your response reminds me of a critique of the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…said the rapist.” So your point is well taken. 🙂

  • sw

    I played Tod in a community production of Saturday’s Warrior about 15 years ago.

    You guys sound just like the chorus I remember. Oh the [bad] memories.

    Avocado Aardvark

  • AxelDC

    Aardvark

  • Don

    Reality podcasting at it best. Well worth the price of admission. Avocado and aardvark, not necessarily in that order. Over and out.

  • ophelia

    Are you guys for real? You’ve been holding out on us. This is the most entertaining two hours of IOT I’ve ever listened to. My favorite things: Randy doesn’t know any of the songs, Glenn’s I-can-go-higher voice, Matt’s delay, John’s laugh, Glenn’s impressive (but somewhat pathetic) mastery of EVERY SINGLE SONG, Matt’s rendition of “I’m so excited…I’m so scared,” Jimmy’s on drugs in Pocatello, those damn involuntary goosebumps, and avocado aardvark. This episode alone is deserving of the podcast award for best religious/spiritual podcast. Thanks for getting me through two hours of spring cleaning! My cup runneth over.

    • Craig Keeling

      lol!

  • Homsar

    Avacado! Aardvark! btw I am wearing a blue shirt in case you are wondering. Does anyone know the best way to clean blood out of your ears? Ha ha just kidding… kind of. This made me a little sad because correlation has pretty much ended this type of great mormon cultural art. The world is missing out on the richness and depth that mormonism has to offer despite Randy’s cynicism.

  • By far your most painful episode yet. Go Infants!

    • Randy_Snyder

      Thanks Uncle Ralph! Appropriate response. 😉

  • Brizzafarizza

    Avacado for the 100, aardvark for Glenn’s statistics 🙂

  • Mike

    Wow. That sucked. I don’t know what is worse, your signing or my decision to listen to the whole thing. To be fair I couldn’t keep myself from laughing a few times. Even though this sucked, I love you guys and will continue my faithful listenership. Glen gets some props for a bit of signing talent and a little razzeldazzle in his performance. This critique is coming from a guy that would sound just as bad as you guys and maybe worse so take it with a grain of salt.

    • Randy_Snyder

      Yes, it sucked. But you were warned. Hopefully the dialogue made up for the singing. 🙂

      • Mike

        True, the dialogue was good and could have been better if not for Glenn and his fixation with the blue shirt. I want to call it cockblocking but that doesn’t fit. Whatever the term is for intellectual cockblocking, that’s what Glenn kept doing to everybody.

      • I have to disagree. I think it didn’t sucked at all. Okay, maybe the singing wasn’t the best but I was laughing through most of the cast. I love it when you guys just have fun and let us tag a long for the ride.
        You are all really lucky to have good friends who are in the same boat at you. I know it helps me to feel a part of your group every week, when in RL I am surrounded by TBM’s and not allowed to speak about my beliefs or thoughts.

  • Gottfried the Hirsute

    Simple math.

  • Joseph Nichols

    If you are going to fail, fail spectacularly.
    -My former choir teacher

  • Beerme

    After a couple of doobs (Columbian gold no less) this podcast came out as smooth as diarrhea in a baby’s diaper. Aaah, to relive the 70’s again….far out man…can you dig it!

  • Orrin Dayne

    This was a delightful episode. I loved that everyone dove in enthusiastically. The editing was great. Well done to all involved!

  • Scrivvles

    I laughed so hard for so long. Seriously, this episode and the excommunication musical are absolutely my favorites – you guys all knocked it out of the park.

    My favorite parts are always when everyone busts out laughing – it just makes me so happy. Keep em’ coming!

  • Aardvark and avocado.

    Holy, was smiling the whole way home from work today. Great episode!

  • Nate G.

    aardvacado! I LOVED this. Thank you!

  • Michael Carpenter

    Avocado. Randy, you can send me the $100.

    Seriously, guys, John Hamer puts the rest of you to shame in the vocals. Is that why you brought him on as a regular Infant?

    And, Glen, try dragging your computer and internet into the 21st century. The lag is killing.

    • Glenn

      How dare you… I use a kick-ass tricked out macbook pro. Matt’s the one with the dinosuar computer. Get it right, man. No soup for you.

      • Michael Carpenter

        Sorry, Glenn (plus I spelled your name wrong).

        Matt — see comment above aimed at Glenn.

  • Sker

    I swear the “Emily” voice in the “Brace Me Up” scene sounds like Pinocchio from Shrek. I expect to hear “I’m a *real* boy!” in the song.

    • Randy_Snyder

      I’m Pinocchio from Shrek! Your post had me cackling involuntarily. I’m wiping my tears away now.

    • Orrin Dayne

      I’m listening to this for the second time. Pinocchio from Shrek is a perfect match.

  • Guest

    JIMMY DONT GO TO SAN FRANCISCO AND DO DRUGS!

    • It’s way too far! Pocatello is just around the corner!

  • Craig Keeling

    JIMMY, dont go to San Francisco and do drugs!!

    http://imgur.com/P6fPXy0

  • Kyle

    this podcast made me bust out laughing numerous times. well done:)

    btw, I knew the SW writers youngest son, I sold alarms with him one summer. good guy

  • Michael Carpenter

    Aardvark.

  • SantoAtheos

    Avacado, Aarvark and no Hara-Kiri (Seriously- when you have fun, we have fun!). Way to bring back the memories!
    I can’t believe I didn’t find it odd that a gang would be so focused on reproductive rights. Maybe Jimmy was just abusing Provera.

  • I am not done yet….BUT OMG! This is so awesome! So far my favorite line has to be when Randy re-sang the line he messed up and then said “Splice that in fuckers!”

    The singing may not be the best lol, but I am laughing so much at this!
    Avocado…..

    There is only one bad thing about this episode. I listen to this in the car, as the wife wouldn’t be too happy with me listening to this “Anti-Mormon Podcast.” And so I get home last night and was working on some stuff and noticed that I was singing the songs in my head. And then when I woke up, same thing. I had songs running in my head. Damn you guys! : )

    Edit: BTW I am wearing a blue shirt, so speculate all you want.

    • Malachi the Pika

      The only melody clear enough to get stuck in my head was “Who are these children coming down”, just that one line. I’ve been hearing that for days now.

    • Randy_Snyder

      Yes, so many of SW songs are utter earworms. My wife was about to kill me the other day bc I kept compulsively singing them.

  • steve

    Avocado

  • Leslie North

    Avocado and Aardvark and I grew up in Pocatello steeped in the 70’s version of Sat Warrior. For those of us who are listening to both MoSto and IOThrones, John Hamer has a split personality. His podcast with John D on Community of Christ was just so fabulous and heartfelt and I loved it. Now this? Oh my.

    • Glenn

      So you’re saying John Hamer wasn’t fabulous (or heartfelt) here? For shame. No split personality, Leslie. Simply different venues, different podcasts (and one with possibly a bit more baked-in Personality???) Oh yeah!

      • Brian Kissell

        John Hamer is so great! So happy to see him participating with you guys more often!

      • Dave Hubble

        Actually I LOVE to hear this side of John Hamer. We already know he is a Restoration History rockstar… this adds another level to his awesomeness!

  • Leslie North

    Everyone should record themselves singing a few lines of their favorite Sat Warrior song and require than the quorum listen to them – with no extra mood-altering substances to help.

    • Glenn

      Require? I think I missed a memo on how this all works somewhere. 😉

  • Bryan Greenwood

    I was glad you brought up the sequel “Star Child”. From what I recall it failed miserably. I was suckered into buying the LP at Deseret Book as the display announced it was coming to So Cal. NEVER HAPPENED.

    Awesome job! So when do we get MY TURN ON EARTH?

  • Rowan Graham

    Awesome awesome awesome awesome.

  • Ciarran

    So this was simply amazing. I have to second the calls for another round with My Turn on Earth, which was the second most listened to musical in our house growing up.

    Randy, I could have been your little sister. I was lucky enough to have a big brother that did not hide/destroy my copy of Saturday’s Warrior or my copy of the Little Mermaid, which were the only two things I watched in 1989-1990. He must have been partially deaf.

    Also, how did John Hamer go the entire podcast without mentioning his sister Carol’s terrific novella Saturday’s Warrior? It’s a great read! http://ex-mormon.net/saturdays-warrior/index.php

    • Yeah I listened to My Turn on Earth too. And I have to admit, even a few years back I had a copy of the CD of MTOE in my car and would listen to it and sing along (poorly). I would very much enjoy a podcast sing-a-long smackdown on that too.

      • Barry Toone

        Anyone recall the Like Unto Us album? Wow – did my 70’s family really only have 4 albums (yes, Donnie & Marie, too). Wow – this brings it back.

  • Chicago

    This program was an assault on good taste, decency, and the arts. Well done. Also, good to hear John Hamer on Back Story radio show, talking about the Strangites.

  • Charles

    I just wish there had been a little more speculation on the writer’s motivation for word choice.

    • Randy_Snyder

      Glenn wasn’t in the mood that night for speculation. Probably bc he lives in the Eastern time zone and is forced to start so much later and we took forever to just get out of the pre-existence.

      But I’ve had multiple experiences in my life where I hear some term, think I got the gist of it and then go on to use it in the wrong way. Not totally wrong but wrong enough to look stupid. One example was when I was 19 and I thought the word comatose meant bored and doing nothing. It’s not way off but it’s certainly wrong and I used it in my erroneous way in front of a BYU professor, my brother’s father-in-law, to describe how bored I was being an ordained missionary a full 2 weeks before entering the MTC so my parents made me live missionary rules while on vacation before my mission. I described the 2 weeks to him as being comatose. He laughed at me and corrected me and I felt stupid.

      • Randy_Snyder

        I was talking about the author’s use of Hari Kari.

      • Malachi the Pika

        While using a word incorrectly is always an awkward experience, I love it when I’m corrected because it burns the word into my memory, just like “comatose”, which you’ll never use wrong again after that!

        • Randy_Snyder

          Indeed Malachi. Indeed.

      • Charles

        I know, just busting your balls, Randy. I was honestly wondering the same thing about Hari Kari. Glenn was kind of a dick about it though. I’m going to start tracking every time he speculates from now on.

        • Glenn

          Yes I was. And as I listened back to it, I realized the point that Randy was trying to make, which was totally lost on me at the time, but is actually a really good one:

          If the dude who wrote the song had heard that “hara kiri” was the ultimate show of religious devotion in Japanese society, then maybe that’s what he was aiming for using it in the song.

          Great insight. Unfortunately, I wasn’t listening very well and didn’t pick up on it till later.

          • Charles

            I forgive you.

          • Glenn

            Take that Oaks! Real men know how to apologize.

          • Charles

            Technically, you never really apologized, but that’s ok since the word doesn’t even appear in the scriptures. I make it a point to never apologize to anyone for that very reason. Regardless, I’d still like to hear you and Randy hug it out on the next episode.

            Also, the goosebumps we all felt as you sang the sweet truths found in Saturday’s Warrior was not due to nostalgia. Nay, it was the Spirit, even the spirit of remembrance (John 14:26). Surprised you didn’t know that.

  • Amy

    Avocado and Aardvark. You boys rocked it! Loved, loved, loved it. John Hamer I have a crush on you…in the most platonic way of course 😉

  • I just got major nostalgia listening to this. I haven’t heard any of those songs in forever. Thanks for covering this in such a hilarious way!

  • Major Powell

    aardvark

  • Adam Archer

    Excellent work gentlemen. Excellent work. I laughed out loud more times than I could count. Don’t quit your day jobs but damn, no one can ever accuse you guys of being neither brave nor fun. Ha ha ha ha. Bravo. Huge fan

  • Kristi

    I LOVED this podcast! I grew up listening to the original soundtrack record, too. I grew up in San Antonio, and when the touring company came through town, we got to host a couple of the actors. I got to meet all the actors at the show, and Ernie and one of Jimmy’s friends stayed at our house for a couple of days! I was absolutely startstruck!

  • JJ

    Is it possible that something can be so horrible that its fantastic. This is hilarious! Thanks guys!

  • D Girl

    This was so great! I was listening at work and may have laughed out loud more than once! Great work!

  • Dave

    Avocado! and, I laughed my ass off. The quorum at their best!

  • carabellie

    “If the minor chords in this song are any indication….” John has the gift of translation y’all. Most of the time as I listen along I say to myself in a self congratulatory way, yeah I would have made that comment too, or man I could add a ton to this discussion. Not so this time guys! I couldn’t have done it. But I am glad you did! Thanks infants for not taking yourselves too seriously (one of the unnamed gifts of the spirit).

  • fantastic

    Best podcast ever…had me in tears at times! Not sure if it was due to nostalgia, but mainly because you guys are hilarious! Be careful, by recording this in your in voice and listening to it over and over you are in danger of gaining a testimony of the truths of Saturday’s Warrior! Maybe you guys should take up Neil Anderson on his challenge to record the JSH in your own voice….maybe to music, although that too would be very dangerous, but funny too!

  • John Spencer

    Avocado 🙂

    • John Spencer

      Oh, and Aardvark. Now where is my !@#$ing ice cream?

  • Joshua Stephen Tesch

    avocado

    aardvark

    Pay up.

  • marco

    Someone was channeling Christopher Guest from A Mighty Wind. I quite liked it.

    https://youtu.be/HDR9Xh0GPeQ?t=26s

  • Leslie North

    Aaargh.
    I’m Sailing On has been STUCK in my head for days and days now. I might have to go on a binge listening until someone in my house hides the whole computer – Not as easy as just hiding the tape.

  • sonya_d

    Does the fact that I’ve never seen Saturday’s Warrior affect my Mormon Cred? I thought there might be a link here so that I can finally watch it.

  • LiteralHipster

    So Lex is doing a remake of SW in 2016!

    https://www.facebook.com/saturdayswarrior

  • Orrin Dayne

    I think Randy was right: Matt was participating using an Apple IIc.

  • Felony Menace

    Terribly wonderful – I was singing along ( apparently I was the only one in the right key) and laughing my ass off. thoroughly enjoyed it!!

  • Timmy Tim

    Did anyone else catch the near-perfect Miss Piggy Impersonation around 1:50-1:54?

  • Kim

    Your version of “Hey, Flinders” has been running through my head since I listened. I haven’t laughed this much at a podcast ever! It was so funny! Thanks!!

  • Krystal

    Avocado.
    I never noticed how naughty Sebastian (The Little Mermaid) was until today as I heard, “Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter.” Of the entire (awesome) soundtrack, that’s the clip you chose, hmmm?
    Also this conversation:
    You do this in the room when she’s trying to sleep?
    I do it in my room.
    I do it in the front room, but I guess your kids are probably still awake.
    I could do it in the front room, but I usually start in my bedroom…
    (okay, I’m still listening)

    • Randy_Snyder

      Wow. You are like the female version of Beavis and Butthead. 😉

      • Krystal

        haha Can’t say I’ve ever been told that. This was a super fun podcast. I think I fell asleep during the movie version of SW once, but I was otherwise not very familiar with it. My Turn on Earth was sort of my churchy earworm. I even listened intentionally as an adult. This from the girl who had a freakout moment when she realized she had been having way too much fun playing show tunes on the piano and RAN to buy Britany Spears latest release (Femme Fatale at the time).

  • Ryan Gregson

    What in the damned hell is this avocado aardvark business? I listened to this episode a while ago (well done, terribly) but don’t remember the aardvark avocado reference.

    • Randy_Snyder

      You weren’t paying attention. Listen again. 😉

      • Ryan Gregson

        Well, I guess I can’t pretend I have something better to do with my time.

  • Bryce Jones

    I was finally able to force myself to listen to this. And I was only able to do it because I was on a plane. And I had nothing else to do. And I couldn’t sleep. Wow that was awful. Keep it up.

    • Randy_Snyder

      Thank you. I think…

  • Chad The Beer Snob

    Aardvark.

    Really fun podcast. Thanks guys.

  • At the end of the day, I’m completely unrepentant about this podcast. 🙂

  • Jong1064

    I just listened to this today on the airplane. I played Emily in 1974 for 9 months – 3 in Spanish Fork and 6 at South High School in Salt Lake. I remember the actor who played Mack (Jimmy’s evil friend) was fired because he did something outside the Mormon Value System – probably drank coffee. The understudy wasn’t nearly as good, and as an 11yo child I thought the director was an idiot for letting him go. The actor who played Todd later died of Aids, very sad. He was an incredibly kind person and extremely talented. The assistant director, Maxine, fell from the ceiling into the audience one night while walking to the control booth. She was pretty severely injured and spent some time in the hospital, as I recall. Of course the people whose laps she landed on had bruising only below the garment line.

    But all of that aside, I wanted to say thank you for reminding how much this play screwed me up. As you guys were talking, I started to realize how brainwashed I was as a child growing up in Utah County and listening to this “tripe” night after night. The lesson was clear – we have things in this life we’re supposed to do — and if we fail, the consequences will be far reaching. Not only to us, but to our family and our future family. I liked what you guys said about Jimmy’s evil friends making the most sense. THEY are the ones who liked him for who he was. His family didn’t even know him — didn’t even want to know him. This is exactly how I felt growing up. If I wasn’t the perfect Molly Mormon child, I was nobody. Thanks again for a fun, enlightening podcast.

  • Pingback: John Hamer in Mormon Podcasts « Saints Herald()

  • Steven Guerrero

    AVOCADO!! Has anyone claimed the $100 prize from Randy? Thanks for the fun laughs!! Listened to this episode today at work and everyone kept asking me what ideas listening to. Didn’t know how to tell them it was Mormon culture!!

  • Leslie North

    I’ve just seen a trailer for the newest 2016 movie version of S.W.
    My wish would be to watch the movie with the theatre full of IOT listeners and we would all sing along. And the IOT quorum would be in the back singing loudly too so we could hear them.

    • Mystery Science Theater 3000 style! I love the pants off that idea.

    • Ryan Gregson

      I like how the trailer basically shows jimmy going through all the stages of that guy in that mormonad poster. Which I can’t find anywhere, but you know the one, where he starts of clean cut but ends up smoking a cigarette and apparently working as an auto mechanic.

      • God forbid!

        • Thomas Moore
          • Meantime I gave objections to a sprightly but still classical version of Christ the Lord is Risen today. The music director inexplicably found the 7/8 rhythm “like a rock beat”. But the bishopric okayed it for Easter.

          • Thomas Moore

            I don’t know why… But, I’m still laughing. It seems so sacrilegious and funny because they’re trying so hard to make Mormon Hymns be “Joyful Noise” worthy!!!??? and then your struggle Heather to bring the hymnal back to more classical and operatic???!!! It’s like watching a method actor fighting with a classically trained… Where’s girls fighting over whether their gowns should be ocher, vermillion, maroon, puce or a dark red lipstick shade that Amie saw in a magazine in the mall a week ago!

          • I’d like to hear that. I’ve aways liked folks like Dave Brubeck and Frank Zappa who would come unstuck from the 3/4 4/4 rut once in a while.

  • Leslie North

    The new version opens in selected places on Friday September 9.

  • Natalie Glaus

    Avocado 😉 Seriously, you guys are awesome. And these songs have been stuck in my head for days!