Infants on Thrones is an entertaining podcast about self-awareness and discovery. The title is an homage to the Mormon Founder Joseph Smith who said, in his lesser-known King Follet discourse, that “Eternity is full of thrones, upon which dwell thousands of children, reigning on thrones of glory, with not one cubit added to their stature.”
It is a funny image, but it also suggests that we, as amateur podcasters, do not really have all the answers we may think we do. We can’t take ourselves too seriously. We are also Infants on Thrones.
Glenn with two N’s
- Nickname: Glen
- Catch Phrase: Let me TBM whisper this.
- Birthplace: Arizona
- Lives in: Indiana
- Occupation: Medical Device
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: “One True Church,” Book of Abraham, Education and Critical Analysis
- Two Truths and Lie: Your “” is someone else’s “down,” Everything I say is a lie, That last statement is true
- Why Do You Podcast?: To make myself laugh, to explore interesting topics, and to make myself laugh again
- Mission: Japan, 1991-93
- Favorite TV show: Party Down
- LEAST Favorite Scripture or GA quote: “I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.”
- Nickname: Randy
- Birthplace: Bellflower, CA
- Lives in: Denver, CO
- Occupation: Orthodontist
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Polyandry, Prop 8, Book of Abraham/Brigham Fucking Young
- Two Truths and Lie: Noah’s flood myth is impossible, the Parting of the Red Sea is impossible, all things are possible with God.
- Why Do You Podcast?: Gluttony for punishment. A deadly sin.
- Mission: Arizona, Tempe 93-95
- LDS Church Activity Status: resigned with a middle finger to Boyd
- Family: Wife Jennifer since 1997. Three sons Jonathan, Lincoln and Grady.
- Distinguishing Physical Feature: Resting bitch face
- Dream Dinner Guest: Louis CK (duh)
- What Makes You Angry?: injustice
- LEAST Favorite Scripture or GA quote: “…in a broad general sense, caste systems have their origin in the gospel itself, and when they operate according to the divine decree, the resultant restrictions and segregation are right and proper and have the approval of the lord.
- To illustrate: Cain, Ham, and the whole negro race have been cursed with a black skin, the mark of Cain, so they can be identified as a caste apart, a people with whom the other descendants of Adam should not intermarry.”
- Bruce R McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 1958 Edition.
- Catch Phrase: Siiiiigh
- Birthplace: Southern Utah
- Lives in: Utah County
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Mountain Meadows Massacre & the cover up, unanswered prayers, Brigham Young
- Two Truths and Lie: Glenn and I have VERY different taste in music. I bought a music album from Glenn’s recommendation. I loved the album.
- Why Do You Podcast?: Love learning new stuff and I love the people I get to chat with. I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t fun.
- Favorite Music/Books/Games/TV shows: Nine Inch Nails, The Martian, Justified
- LDS Church Activity Statues: inactive
- Dream Dinner Guest: Lance Armstrong
- What Makes You Angry?: Politics
- What Non-Living Object Do You Save in a Fire?: My childhood 1st Gen Transformer Soundwave
- Birthplace: São Paulo, Brazil
- Lives in: Milpitas, California
- Occupation: Product Manager, Technology
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Book of Mormon Historicity, Sexism, and Narcissism
- Two Truths and Lie: I’ve lived in five countries. Dallin H. Oaks has been to my house. I loved my time at BYU.
- Why Do You Podcast?: I enjoy discussion. Also, podcasting works well as cheap therapy.
- Known for: Bob’s Mormon Cred Scale
- Mission: Bulgaria 1998-2000
- Education: UVU – Business Management; Purdue University – MBA
- Favorite Music/Books/Games/TV shows: Led Zeppelin, Muse, Star Control II
- Hobbies: I’m a media consumer. I love tech, TV, movies, and games. I also like walking and hiking.
- LDS Church Activity Status: 2007 Faith Crisis, 2009 Out to Family, 2015 Resigned
- What Makes You Laugh?: Satire
- What Makes You Angry?: Hypocrisy
- What Are You Most Grateful For: Born into abundance
- Nickname: Matt
- Occupation: Lawyer
- Hobbies: Foody, Laughing like Seth Rogan
- Best-ever Bowling score: 165
- Favorite Quote: “When in doubt, ask Glenn.”
- Nickname: Bob
- Occupation: Lawyer
- Hobbies: making homemade crayons from his own ear wax
- Favorite Driving Speed: 65
- Favorite Band: Anything, but mostly country music, as long as you can buy it and play it on iTunes.
- Nickname: Hamer
- Catch Phrase: “John Hamer says no”
- Birthplace: suburban Chicago, Illinois
- Lives in: downtown Toronto, Canada
- Occupation: Publishing
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Sexism, racism, historicity of scripture
- Two Truths and Lie: I’m well versed in history, politics, and literature.
- Why Do You Podcast?: It’s consonant with my mission to change the world.
- Kinsey Scale Rating: 6 (high score winner on IoT; not to diminish those with low scores as they can’t help how they were born)
- Distinguishing Physical Feature: The Hair
- Greatest Accomplishment: Orchestrating an interaction with the universe that is eminently satisfactory.
- Favorite Joke: “What star sign is he?” “Er, Capricorn.” “And what are they like?” “He is the son of God, our Messiah. King of the Jews.” “And that’s Capricorn, is it?” “No, no, no. That’s just him.” “Ohh, I was going to say, ‘Otherwise, there’d be a lot of them.'”
- Nickname: Brother Jake
- Birthplace: Show Low, AZ
- Lives in: North Carolina
- Occupation: Data geek
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Book of Mormon historicity, Book of Abraham, Prop 8
- Two Truths and Lie: I killed a dragon in hand-to-hand combat, I personally thwarted a nuclear apocalypse, I can tell the difference between real life and video games
- Mission (where, dates): Peru, 2007-2009
- LDS Church Activity: Inactive
- Hobbies: Creator of Brother Jake webseries (www.askbrotherjake.com)
- Distinguishing Physical Feature: Stretchy elbow skin
- Greatest Accomplishment: Brian Cranston touched my head once
- Favorite Quote: “If we all lived in caves, we’d save a sh*tload of money.”
- Nickname: Tall Heather
- Birthplace: Southern Utah
- Lives in: Washington DC
- Occupations: Singer, Interior Designer
- Top Three Shelf-Breakers: Treatment of women, racial minorities, and LGBT; Book of Abraham; Denial of science including evolution
- Two Truths and Lie: I graduated from Harvard, Stanford, and Johns Hopkins.
- Why Do You Podcast?: I love the discussions, the laughs, and the people. Infants on Thrones was so valuable to me during my transition. I am privileged to be part of something that helps people have a laugh and feel connected during tough times.
- Mission: Kiev, Ukraine. 1999-2001
- Hobbies: I spend a lot of time trimming my house while I listen to books on double or triple speed.
- Distinguishing Physical Feature: 37″ inseam
- What Makes You Laugh?: “Please bless this Dorito pie and brownies that they will nourish and strengthen us and do us the good that we need. And bless the hands that prepared them.”
- What Are You Most Grateful For: My kids and my co-presider.
- LEAST Favorite Scripture or GA quote: Temple covenants for women. Also: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22), and “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.” (1 Peter 2:18)