The NEW Book of Abraham: Chapter 3

Minisode

Posted October 27th, 2016

Glenn dazes into his peep stone for yet another far out translation of Chapter 3, man. Seriously.  This is totally real, you guys.   And this time it’s all about… time.

Glenn

  • Thomas Moore

    I think you may have overlooked, “Much Ado About Nothing”… you know the title of a play by the Bard!

  • Thomas Moore

    I wish this was put into a Broadway Musical… Oh wait, Trent Harris did just that…https://youtu.be/aM-PeBnCLx4

    • Glenn

      That hurt my ears

  • Scott Olson

    Glenn, this wonderful minisode has driven me to the comments section just to say that you are very smart and funny man. Thank you for bringing so many hours of enjoyment to my life through your hard work, insight and creativity.

    • Glenn

      Wow! Thank you, Scott. It is completely my pleasure 🙂

      • Thomas Moore

        I enjoyed this episode because it goes back to an earlier episode about Joseph Smith’s Physics understandings were just a little too late. If this is God speaking, then provable evidences like Quantum Mechanics, E=Mc2, the atomic bombs (fusion/fission) are the product of Satan??? His (J.S.’s) belief of a stable universe and matter being eternal has been proven false. Some of the most profound statements and ideas such as “We’re made of Star Stuff” and “The little Blue Dot” are more miraculous and soul stirring than Abraham’s teachings.

  • Swagavad Gita

    Groovy stuff, Glenn. Gnarly.

    • Glenn

      Gnarly b’Garley

      • Swagavad Gita

        That’s just like, your opinion, man.

      • Swagavad Gita

        Gnarly P. Pratt

  • Cliff

    maaaaaaannnnn! you’re funny, man.

  • This was a great mini-sode. I still think you should do this for all of Mormon scripture. Re-imagine, rework, retell, update and put them in a context that we thoroughly modern folk can relate to. With proper adaptation, dammit, Mormonism could sell. Trade the stiff high collar and waistcoat for some baggy-ass shorts, a 4XL Raiders T-shirt, a buzz cut, a backward ball cap, a booger-bar nose piercing, some cool tatts and you could have people flocking to the so-called Church rather than flocking away from it. That’s what the King James translators did; they took Christian scripture out of the musty Greek, Latin, Hebrew and whatever and rendered it into cutting edge (for the time) Elizabethan English. It’s time for the so-called Church to take the next step boldly into the twentieth century.

  • I lol’d a lot on this one. Facts lol

  • Orly

    Hi Glenn,
    As brilliant as ever.
    Sorry if I’m telling you something you already know, but “kochav” -ch as in scotish “loch”, is a “star” in hebrew, and in plural “kochavim” (and please don’t say ch as in “church”…) . Joseph smith did use a very few hebrew wards, minus the pronunciation. .. but most of his weird words were made up and had very little, if anything, to do with hebrew ( and probably Egyptian for that matter).

  • Emily

    So, is Pluto a planet or not?