Ep 342 – Girls Gone Thrones

Panel Discussion

Posted February 12th, 2017

In this femisode, Heather, her sister Jennifer, Jennifer’s friend Crys and Crys’s friend Charlie get together to form the largest women’s Infants on Thrones panel in the world–presided over and mansplained by priesthood holder Brother Jake.

First they smack up Jennifer’s Reddit diatribe against the much-shared facebook post inviting Women’s March attendees to join “the oldest and largest women’s organization in the world’ the LDS Reliesosidy: Relief Society is NOT a Women’s Group! 

Then they smack down a Mormon Women Stand article written by a women who marches around her privileged domestic palace shaming other women who aren’t content to march like she does.

In their spare time they talk about Crys and Charlie’s experiences at the Women’s March and what girls would do if they could hold an activity in the church without a priesthood holder present.


  • Loved Brother Jake’s mansplaining. The Sisters were ok too.

    • Thanks, Riley. I thought this comment was ok too. 😉

      • Ha! Really, this was a great episode. Nice break from the usual man fest. It was interesting hearing a different perspective. Especially from such an intelligent group. Hopefully there will be more to come!

      • windy_way8192

        Just replying here so maybe you’ll see my comment. Thanks for this episode!

  • By the time you were finished reading Marching Molly’s diatribe my righteous spittle was flying every which way, lemme tell ya. I’m afraid Trumpistan, as conceptualized by the Bannon administration, is going to be a very cushy place for old rich white guys—at everyone else’s expense, more than likely. We all need to do what we can to defer to the despots a little less readily and a little less often. Go Throne Girls!

  • Susan Mowers

    More girls on thrones! More girls on thrones! As an “older” single woman (*cough 30s*) in the church, a lot of the stuff Charlie spoke about with infertility was also how I felt as a single. There was no role for me in the church the older and “singler” I became. Of course, it was implicitly implied that it was my fault that I wasn’t married. Because, I could always just marry divorcees, or better yet widows. (There was a young widow in my last ward, but I was so horrified at being the “polygamist 2nd wife” that I avoided him at all costs. I didn’t want to date him, because you know the old “you marry who you date”.) Crazy thing was, because I was raised in the church I didn’t see all of those things as a problem for so long, and internalized my depression for so long. All I can say as a still single woman my satisfaction and happiness factor in my life has exponentially increased letting go of the church and it’s definitions of womanhood and motherhood.

    • Vinniecat

      I was so thrilled when my sister gave up on dating Mormon guys and ended up with a NoMo who suits her perfectly. She’s never been able to have kids and for that reason I’m even more pleased she left the church. The church really has a one-size-fits-all model and if you don’t fit, ain’t much for ya.

  • Blair

    At the risk of being accused of ‘mansplaining’, there were two instances when I–as a man–had a calling where a woman was in charge of me. The first was when I was an activities committee member (the committee leader was my old seminary teacher, the one I couldn’t stand cause she was super manipulatuve and would call us ‘little chickadees’). The second time was when I was a primary teacher. It didn’t really feel weird to have a woman in charge in primary, probably because I’d had female bosses at work and knew that it wasn’t really any different from a male boss. I don’t know if any of that counts because ultimately Jesus is in charge, and he’s a manly, manly man.

    • Jaime

      I think your examples just further underline the point because from all your experience with callings, you dug deep to find two: activities committee and primary.

      • Blair

        Their point is definitely valid, if they replace the word “never” with the word “rarely”. That’s all I meant.

        • Jaime

          Gotcha. Missed the “never” part.

    • Sirpa Leppänen

      Except that the call to be a Primary teacher comes from the bishopric, not the Primary presidency, so technically, the PP isn’t in charge of the teachers. The Bishopric is. The same with activity days. When I was in PP we spent hours trying to find teachers, because the bishopric shot down all of our suggestions. It felt so stupid to even suggest anyone, since they could’ve just saved us the trouble and call whomever, since that’s what ended up happening anyway.

      • Blair

        Yup. You’re absolutely right. But the primary teacher is beneath the primary presidency. When I was a teacher it was the presidency deciding who I taught, what my class did during sharing time, etc… In activities it was a woman who would call me and tell me what to do, who to call, etc.

        None of this takes away from the idea that the church is mysoginistic; there always has to be men in charge in the church. I’m just saying, for accuracy’s sake, there’s no rule saying there can’t be other men (usually unmarried recent RM’s) who report to women who report to the men in charge.

  • A L

    I loved the sound of mansplaining getting drowned out by the voices of women. 🙂

  • AnotherClosetAtheist

    We have stickied the original Reddit post to the top of /r/exmormon for anyone who hasn’t visited the subreddit before. Feel free to drop in and check the place out.


    • Thanks ACA! 💙

      • AnotherClosetAtheist

        You’re absolutely welcome.

        (Sorry for the late reply, I hardly check my responses here)

  • Brenda

    I loved this episode! Keep the girls on thrones coming!

  • Jaime

    Free therapy session. Thanks ladies. An episode full of validation will keep me marching for a long while yet.

    I did see some haters on Reddit, but I’m going to say this here instead: an entire episode devoted to the uppity women in no way invalidates the shitty experiences of being a valiant Mormon guy. The experiences were different in some ways, similar in others and it’s OKAY to talk about them separately. Men didn’t fucking bleed all over their garments every month. Is it okay that we talk about this?!? That is a issue that is unique to the
    Mothers of Zion.

    Why do conversations like this tend to devolve into “which-sex-had-it-worse?” It all sucked. I believe the guys when they talk about the issues related to being a Mormon man. In fact, I really would enjoy listening to a panel of Infant men discuss the issues that were unique to the priesthood.

    • Jake’s been planning just such an episode for a while now. It will happen eventually. Like the second coming.

  • Sirpa Leppänen

    Loved loved looooooved this episode! One of the best IoT episodes ever! Can you give the sources for the real history of RS? Like how exactly the Brethren took over it and when that happened etc. And Joseph marrying half of the RS sisters and all that.

  • gem2477

    When I typed up the programs, I purposely put the lady speaker last 😉 Too bad they changed it….

  • Vinniecat

    Thanks for the Sisterhood, ladies!

    Having been in the RS presidency, we generally got a much larger budget than every other auxillary in the ward save the YM/YW program. Of course funeral luncheons and other activities that also included the men were also funded through our budget, but RS generally gets a much larger budget than the EQ or HPs.

    • Jennifer

      I guess this makes sense. The EQ never really did a lot of activities in any ward I was in. RS activities happened every once in a while, though. And thank God we had the budget to make apothecary jars and chalkboard menus! Though, now that I think of it, you had to pay separately for the crafts in those cases…

      What did the budget go toward then? All meals seemed to be potluck, including funerals. So it couldn’t have been food, right? I’m curious now: what did you spend the budget on?

      • When I was in RS presidency, we spent it on service projects and decorations for The Artist Formerly Known As Enrichment. And as someone who loves party planning, I was very happy about that. It was still paltry and I subsidized a lot of it out of pocket because, as I mentioned, I love party planning. Oh, we also spent some of it on birthday cards and postage for all members of RS for the year which sucked up about a quarter of the budget as I recall. Maybe our ward had a particularly small RS budget, but it definitely didn’t go very far.

      • Vinniecat

        Our budget went to Enrichment nights – we had a nice dinner for the RS birthday and we did pay for the main courses for the funerals which potentially was a lot (I’m in an older neighborhood), birthday cards, service projects, and a summer BBQ (main course) to which the EQ and HP were invited. We also provided a printed neighborhood directory for every home in the ward boundaries from our allotment.

  • TAB

    What would it have been like if the Mormon tabernacle choir should have sung at the woman’s March? What if church leaders would have invited relief society presidencies to encourage their members to support the woman’s marches around the world by staffing aid and water stations along the route and medical stations for those who needed relief?

    If we as LDS men and women valued families and religious freedom why don’t we march and support National and international policy that supports women’s and children’s rights world wide? Why didn’t the church secure its members to raise money to support the adoption of international children’s rights in United States is one of the only countries who did not sign UN agreement?

    The sealed two thirds of the book of Mormon that contains the writings of prophetesses will only come forth when women in the church claim their authority.

  • windy_way8192

    Thanks, Heather. I really enjoyed this one!