Disproving Santa

Listener Essay

Posted December 27th, 2015

Sage Turk returns to Infants on Thrones with his Listener Essay “Disproving Santa Claus.” Jake and Tom join in the conversation as “apologetics” turn towards the satirically ridiculous and the absurd – for once. No, that was not a chiasmus.

Jake

Tom

  • Thomas Moore

    I thought I was the “only” one who had been taught such weird things; i.e. animals have souls, they have celestial cows, dogs, trees, planets, etc… Now to the “planets” getting pregnant and having children??? Well, I guess that makes sense since Enoch and others spoke to Mother Earth. However that comes to question(s) of planetoids like Pluto, was a planet but was the offspring of maybe a same-sex planet marriage of say Uranus and Neptune??? Therefore Pluto lost planet status and became less than??? One of my profound Ah Ha! moments was with resurrection and those who did not progress. Too bizarre, too cruel, too stupid as far as an explanation. http://www.closertotruth.com/series/whats-resurrection

  • sageturk

    Incase anyone is curious to know more about the obviously scientifically sound principle of planetary sexual reproduction, I highly recommend the insanity that is “Earth in the Beginning” by Eric Skousen PhD (name sounds familiar…huh). Also, if you want to actually go on the intercontinental quasi-spiritual road-trip that is ‘The Science and Power of God’ – and I doubt you will – here is the chain: Mark 14:36 -> Matt 26:39 -> Luke 22:43-44 ->Matt 26:42 -> D+C 19:15-19 -> Acts 4:12 (ok deep breath here is the rabbit hole) 2Ne 2:14 -> D+C 93:29-30 -> Abr 3:19-23 -> Journal of Discourses 7:2 (i shit you not) -> Abr 4:9,10,12,18 -> Hel 12:18 -> Jacob 4:6 -> 1Ne 20:13 -> D+C 88:38-42 -> D+C 29:36 -> Alma 42:14-22 -> Mormon 9:19 -> 2Ne 9:7-9 (FINALLY THE POINT) Alma 34:13-16 and D+C 45:3-4 …. Ok, i need to go lie down now. Thanks everyone for listening and a big thanks to Jake and Tom for the lulz

    • Ryan Gregson

      Ha! My parents gave me that book as an ‘alternative’ explanation. I didn’t know it had planet sex in there, might have to read it now.

  • I guess I should be disturbed by how well a Santa suit fits most religions, even to the point of the newly-disaffected pretending to believe to avoid hurting family member’s feelings. But I’m not—disturbed, that is. As a child one Christmas, a classmate of mine had no Christmas—no tree, no presents, no nothing—because his dad lost his job a month before, and it didn’t dawn on me that the whole Santa-based Christmas myth couldn’t be true. I just looked right past it. What concerns (sometimes obsesses) me is how I believed such things in the past. If I couldn’t see that then, what can I not see now?

    I got a real kick out of Jake and Sage’s explanation of why “nerd-rage” is the purest form of rage—because there is nothing to win. All your life you hear about situations where someone had “nothing to lose.” Only on IoT do you hear about the instances where the combatants had nothing to win. I guess we should all ask ourselves occasionally, “What is there to win here? And how will I know when I’ve won it?” Countries should ask themselves the same shit.

  • Paxton

    For the Record Tom… the ONLY place where Ice IS land is the actual country of Iceland…otherwise Ice is NOT Land

    • Besides, in a few years (fewer than you think) there will be nothing but water in the Arctic Circle anyways, resolving all arguments and misconceptions more-or-less permanently.

    • Tom Perry

      Fair enough. I’m more than happy to surrender that argument. Along with all the others discussed in this episode.

  • Sirpa Leppänen

    Santa doesn’t live in North pole. Americans have gotten it all wrong. He lives in Finland. Really, he does. Look it up. He actually almost went backrupt last year (no wonder), but managed to avoid it. And he doesn’t deliver all the gifts in one day. He starts early. In Finland and a lot of other countries he comes on Christmas Eve. You can send him letter, or have your kid send him a letter and he will send a letter back. I promise. Just write “Santa Clause, Finland” and he’ll receive it.

  • Mark Norris

    Sage and Jake sound so alike it was hard to tell them apart at times.